The Unicat. The most trusted mythical beast the world has ever seen. Inspired by unicorns everywhere and our asshole Heinz 57, Pixel Gertz.
Explaining the magic
Lots of people don't vote because
- They can't
- They don't know how
- They think their vote makes no difference
- The parties are all the same
- They don't give a rat's ass.
How do we change this?
Stimulate self-respect in youth and a belief in one's abilities. Encourage accountability. This means staging the opposing political candidates in a gladiator war. Give them sexy metallic wrestling outfits, the headgear, and mind blowing titles like "Obama the Crusher." Of course political runners would have to present their party platform, but while beating each other with padded mallets on precarious foam towers. People would fervently watch the debates. They would be glued to their television screens and would text their votes in by the millions. I can prove this because more people voted during 2006's American Idol (530 million) than in the 2008 election (131.3 million). So people love entertainment. Politics is a joke to most people anyway.
Give them what they want. A talent show.
Explaining the magic
But seriously, people actually enjoy this experience. It’s considered vital during courtship. I am sure I have heard that animals do tongue lunges to support their mating success. Success for humans is actually rated. You can be a terrible snogger and god help you if you are! People talk about this. They probably even exchange Facebook messages about it.I have to admit, I am still mystified as to the whole rating system. How does one expertly push his meat muscle into another’s beckoning cavernous opening without it being too wet or too messy to earn a 10/10? I am still talking about kissing here folks, but now you see the sexual appeal it might have. Or not.